author: Ryan Hayden Take your Bibles with me and turn to 2 Samuel 3. 2 Samuel 3. We are going to get started tonight by reading just a few verses - but we will cover several chapters tonight as we consider this story.

Are you in 2 Samuel 3? Let's read verse 1:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:1 - KJV

1. Now there was long war between the house of Saul and the house of David: but David waxed stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul waxed weaker and weaker.

We were discussing this series around the dinner table last night and my girls asked - is this the week when David is finally going to become king?

Yes, it is, actually. That is what we are talking about. Look at chapter 5. Chapter 5 and lets read the first five verses:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 5:1-5 - KJV

1. Then came all the tribes of Israel to David unto Hebron, and spake, saying, Behold, we are thy bone and thy flesh.
2. Also in time past, when Saul was king over us, thou wast he that leddest out and broughtest in Israel: and the LORD said to thee, Thou shalt feed my people Israel, and thou shalt be a captain over Israel.
3. So all the elders of Israel came to the king to Hebron; and king David made a league with them in Hebron before the LORD: and they anointed David king over Israel.
4. David was thirty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned forty years.
5. In Hebron he reigned over Judah seven years and six months: and in Jerusalem he reigned thirty and three years over all Israel and Judah.

So at the beginning of chapter 3 we are told that David and the house of Saul were fighting a long war. Then at the beginning of chapter 5 we are told that David was made king over all of Israel. We are told this whole limbo period lasted for seven years and six months.

So the question is - what happened during those seven years between 3:1 and 5:1? What happened to make David king?

And the answer to that is a big mess. That's what we are going to look at tonight - a big mess.

I was talking to someone at the YMCA the other day, a young college student who is studying to work in the park service and I asked him what that was like. He said, well, today we went out into the field and picked through trash.

That's what going through these chapters feels like. Like picking through trash. It is such a big mess.

If you think about it - way back in 1 Samuel 15 God anointed David to be the next king of Israel. God took him when he was a shepherd boy out in the field and promised he would be the next king of Israel. Then what happened? All kinds of mess.

• The mess with Goliath.
• The mess with Saul's jealousy and attempted murder.
• The mess of running as a fugitive for ten+ years.
• The mess of working for the Philistines.
• The mess at Ziklag.
• The mess of Saul going to a witch.
• The mess of Saul's suicide.

It's just been mess after mess and here in these last chapters before David is finally made king over all Israel, when God's promises are finally fulfilled, we are going to see even more messes.

So here is my hypothesis today:

Life is messy.

The path to glory runs through mountains and valleys, through dirt and mud, through blood and tears.

We never imagine it will be that way. When we picture God's "expected end" for us, we tend to think God is just going to pick us up and put us there. But that isn't how life works - life on this earth is always messy.

Think about children for a second: Think about how their life is literally a mess. They are born in a mess. Then they immediately start making messes. Messes in their diapers. Messes with their clothes. The road from birth to fully functioning adult is a road full of frustration, tears, disappointment, discipline, hurt feelings, repeated lessons and lots of messes. It's' also a million percent worth it and the most fulfilling thing we do in our life.

Life is just messy. Our paths are messy. Let's consider the mess that led to David becoming King tonight.

The first mess we are going to look at is...

1. David's mess

Look with me at chapter 3 again in verses 2-5:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:2-5 - KJV 2. And unto David were sons born in Hebron: and his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; 3. And his second, Chileab, of Abigail the wife of Nabal the Carmelite; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4. And the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5. And the sixth, Ithream, by Eglah David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron.

What do we see here? Well, we see David had lots of kids. In these verses we are told about the six kids that David had while he was king of Judah in Hebron.

But I want you to notice something about this list: David had six kids by six different wives. By the way - this isn't his whole list of wives and it isn't his whole list of kids.

Notice Bathsheba isn't on this list. Michal isn't on this list. Also notice that at least one of David's well known sons aren't on this list - there is no Solomon here.

All told, David ended up having 20 sons and one daughter (that we know of) with his full-fledged wives - and many more children with concubines. His family life was a mess.

And while this passage doesn't pass any judgment on what David did, the rest of the story tells us just how much of a problem and a sorrow this became for David.

I mean, just look at some of the names on this list:

• Ammnon. David's oldest son raped David's daughter Tamar and then was murdered by David's other son Absolom.
• Absolom. Not only did he kill his half-brother, he tried to take over his dad's kingdom.
• And Absolom isn't the only son that tried to take over his dad's kingdom - Adonijah did as well.

David's family life was a mess and it caused incredible problems for him later on.

Listen, there is no greater blessing than being in a happy and godly marriage - but there is also no bigger way to mess your life up by getting that decision wrong.

So many of the biggest messes people deal with in life are marriage messes. While everyone deals with messes and every family is messy: You will save yourself lots of pain if you follow God's plan and will in that area.

author: Ryan Hayden

So that's David's mess. But actually the majority of what happens in these chapters to make David king weren't things that David did.

David seemed to have learned the lesson that God was going to make Him king when God was ready and that he wasn't going to do anything to take that power for himself.

If there is one person who made David king more than any other person - it was Abner. And, guess what? It was a mess.

So let's talk about...

2. Abner's Mess

Let's read through our text here and see what Abner did. Starting with verse 6:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:6 - KJV 6. And it came to pass, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner made himself strong for the house of Saul.

Remember, Saul's son Ish-bosheth was the king of Israel. David was the king of Judah.

But while Ish-bosheth was the king, while he had the title, the real guy in charge was Saul's old general Abner. Abner was really pulling the strings.

Very often, the person who is really in charge is not the person with the title.

Abner was the one who setup Ish-bosheth (even though he knew David was God's anointed) and he probably did it so that he could really be in power. Ish-bosheth was someone Abner could control.

Well, as you can imagine, as Ish-bosheth figured that out, he didn't like it. Look what happens next:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:7-11 - KJV 7. And Saul had a concubine, whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah: and Ish-bosheth said to Abner, Wherefore hast thou gone in unto my father’s concubine? 8. Then was Abner very wroth for the words of Ish-bosheth, and said, Am I a dog’s head, which against Judah do shew kindness this day unto the house of Saul thy father, to his brethren, and to his friends, and have not delivered thee into the hand of David, that thou chargest me to day with a fault concerning this woman? 9. So do God to Abner, and more also, except, as the LORD hath sworn to David, even so I do to him; 10. To translate the kingdom from the house of Saul, and to set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan even to Beer-sheba. 11. And he could not answer Abner a word again, because he feared him.

So Ish-bosheth accuses Abner of taking his dad's concubine. This would have been seen as a way for Abner to take the throne for himself.

There was probably no truth to this accusation. But it really made Abner mad. Very mad. And so Abner said "if you are going to be that way Ish-bosheth, I'm going to make sure that David becomes king - I mean God promised that to him anyways."

And what did the king do? Nothing. He knew Abner was really in charge and he was scared of Abner.

By the way - this shows that Abner knew God wanted David to be king. He knew what was right - but he still setup Ish-bosheth. Just because someone knows what is right doesn't mean that they do it. Very often they do not.

So what happens next? Abner makes good on his word. He reaches out to David to let him know that he is on his side now. Look at verse 12:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:12 - KJV 12. And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, Whose is the land? saying also, Make thy league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with thee, to bring about all Israel unto thee.

And what is David's response? Look at verse 13-16

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:13-16 - KJV 13. And he said, Well; I will make a league with thee: but one thing I require of thee, that is, Thou shalt not see my face, except thou first bring Michal Saul’s daughter, when thou comest to see my face. 14. And David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth Saul’s son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines. 15. And Ish-bosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Phaltiel the son of Laish. 16. And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim. Then said Abner unto him, Go, return. And he returned.

David says "ok, you want to be on my side, go get my wife Michal back."

Now, Michal had already remarried. Saul had sort of stolen her from David and given her to someone else. But David still loved her and being married to Saul's daughter strengthened his position, so he wanted her back.

So Abner works it out so that she is taken from her husband and sent back to David. Well, what is her husband going to think about this?

It says "he went along weeping behind her." Then he met Abner and Abner said "return." "Go home." And Abner was so powerful, he was such a macho dude that this husband went "ok" and he went home.

So now Abner is going to try to work it out politically for David to become the king. He has secret meetings with the elders of Israel to work this out. Look at verses 17-19:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:17-19 - KJV 17. And Abner had communication with the elders of Israel, saying, Ye sought for David in times past to be king over you: 18. Now then do it: for the LORD hath spoken of David, saying, By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel out of the hand of the Philistines, and out of the hand of all their enemies. 19. And Abner also spake in the ears of Benjamin: and Abner went also to speak in the ears of David in Hebron all that seemed good to Israel, and that seemed good to the whole house of Benjamin.

Politically, the people of Israel are already ready for David. Even Benjamin, which was Saul's tribe, was ready for David.

So look what happens next:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:20-21 - KJV 20. So Abner came to David to Hebron, and twenty men with him. And David made Abner and the men that were with him a feast. 21. And Abner said unto David, I will arise and go, and will gather all Israel unto my lord the king, that they may make a league with thee, and that thou mayest reign over all that thine heart desireth. And David sent Abner away; and he went in peace.

So David and Abner have a feast together to make this thing official and it ends with Abner saying "I'm going to go out and make this happen." It ends in peace.

So that is Abner's mess. Abner is doing the right thing here - but he is doing it for the wrong reasons. He is doing it to spite Ish-bosheth. He is doing it because the writing is on the wall and he wants to protect his own power. And he's not exactly doing it the right way - you could say that he's being treasonous to his king here.

It's not going to work out well for him.

So we've talked about David's mess and Abner's mess. Now let's talk about...

3. Joab's mess

Let's keep reading. Verse 24:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:24-27 - KJV 24. Then Joab came to the king, and said, What hast thou done? behold, Abner came unto thee; why is it that thou hast sent him away, and he is quite gone? 25. Thou knowest Abner the son of Ner, that he came to deceive thee, and to know thy going out and thy coming in, and to know all that thou doest. 26. And when Joab was come out from David, he sent messengers after Abner, which brought him again from the well of Sirah: but David knew it not. 27. And when Abner was returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him quietly, and smote him there under the fifth rib, that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother.

So what happens here? Joab is David's general. He is David's Abner.

He finds out that David had met with Abner and he is not happy about it. He probably was afraid Abner would take his job. He had some concerns about Abner's motives - but mostly he hates Abner because Abner killed his brother.

So Joab goes and sets a meeting with Abner - outside of Hebron because it was a city of refuge - and Joab kills Abner. Murders him. Ambushes him and stabs him in the heart.

I told you this was a messy story. So now you have all of Israel, ready to follow Abner back to David, but David's top guy just murdered Abner in cold blood. What a mess!

So what did David do? Look at verses 28-37:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:28-37 - KJV 28. And afterward when David heard it, he said, I and my kingdom are guiltless before the LORD for ever from the blood of Abner the son of Ner: 29. Let it rest on the head of Joab, and on all his father’s house; and let there not fail from the house of Joab one that hath an issue, or that is a leper, or that leaneth on a staff, or that falleth on the sword, or that lacketh bread. 30. So Joab and Abishai his brother slew Abner, because he had slain their brother Asahel at Gibeon in the battle. 31. And David said to Joab, and to all the people that were with him, Rend your clothes, and gird you with sackcloth, and mourn before Abner. And king David himself followed the bier. 32. And they buried Abner in Hebron: and the king lifted up his voice, and wept at the grave of Abner; and all the people wept. 33. And the king lamented over Abner, and said, Died Abner as a fool dieth? 34. Thy hands were not bound, nor thy feet put into fetters: as a man falleth before wicked men, so fellest thou. And all the people wept again over him. 35. And when all the people came to cause David to eat meat while it was yet day, David sware, saying, So do God to me, and more also, if I taste bread, or ought else, till the sun be down. 36. And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them: as whatsoever the king did pleased all the people. 37. For all the people and all Israel understood that day that it was not of the king to slay Abner the son of Ner.

David does several things in these verses:

• First, he makes a public statement disavowing this killing.
• Second, he publicly names and shames Joab for it.
• Third, he publicly honors Abner with a kind of state funeral.
• Fourth, he fasts and mourns publicly for Abner.

The result of all of this is that people understand that this was not David's doing. They know he didn't want to kill Abner.

But look at verses 38-39:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 3:38-39 - KJV 38. And the king said unto his servants, Know ye not that there is a prince and a great man fallen this day in Israel? 39. And I am this day weak, though anointed king; and these men the sons of Zeruiah be too hard for me: the LORD shall reward the doer of evil according to his wickedness.

David kind of takes a cop out here. He doesn't really punish Joab for killing Abner. He says that Joab and his brother are "too hard for me."

Now, why did he do this?

• Probably he needed Joab as a general.
• Joab was his nephew and they were likely very close.
• But I think there may have been some fear that Joab would hurt him.

So David stopped short of doing what he should have done and punishing Joab.

Again, this is a mess. This whole story is a mess.

So we've talked about David's mess now and Abner's mess and Joab's' mess.

Let's look at one more part of the story and talk about...

4. Ish-bosheth's mess

So remember, Ish-bosheth, Saul's son, was the king of Israel. But Abner was really in power. Abner has already confronted him and told him he was going to make sure David became king.

Now, it comes out that Abner has met with David and Abner is now dead. So where does that put Ish-bosheth?

Look at chapter 4 verses 1-4:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 4:1-4 - KJV

1. And when Saul’s son heard that Abner was dead in Hebron, his hands were feeble, and all the Israelites were troubled.
2. And Saul’s son had two men that were captains of bands: the name of the one was Baanah, and the name of the other Rechab, the sons of Rimmon a Beerothite, of the children of Benjamin: (for Beeroth also was reckoned to Benjamin:
3. And the Beerothites fled to Gittaim, and were sojourners there until this day.)
4. And Jonathan, Saul’s son, had a son that was lame of his feet. He was five years old when the tidings came of Saul and Jonathan out of Jezreel, and his nurse took him up, and fled: and it came to pass, as she made haste to flee, that he fell, and became lame. And his name was Mephibosheth.

So Ish-bosheth is in a state of panic. He is flipping out. Everyone in his kingdom who was aligned with him is flipping out.

In the panic, Jonathan's five year old son is being rushed out by a nurse and has a terrible fall, which leaves him disabled for the rest of his life.

You have to understand, that when a new king came in, it was typical for him to get rid of (and usually kill) everyone who was associated with the previous kingdom. So everyone at Saul's palace is in a tizzy.

And there were two soldiers who worked for Ish-bosheth who decided it was time to take action. There names were Baanah and Rechab.

Let's see what they do:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 4:5-8 - KJV 5. And the sons of Rimmon the Beerothite, Rechab and Baanah, went, and came about the heat of the day to the house of Ish-bosheth, who lay on a bed at noon. 6. And they came thither into the midst of the house, as though they would have fetched wheat; and they smote him under the fifth rib: and Rechab and Baanah his brother escaped. 7. For when they came into the house, he lay on his bed in his bedchamber, and they smote him, and slew him, and beheaded him, and took his head, and gat them away through the plain all night. 8. And they brought the head of Ish-bosheth unto David to Hebron, and said to the king, Behold the head of Ish-bosheth the son of Saul thine enemy, which sought thy life; and the LORD hath avenged my lord the king this day of Saul, and of his seed.

They wait until Ish-bosheth is taking his noonday nap, they go in and they kill him and then they cut off his head. They figure if they take his head to David, that they will get rewarded for it. So they take the head of Ish-bosheth to David.

But they have greatly misjudged David.

Look at verses 9-12:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 4:9-12 - KJV 9. And David answered Rechab and Baanah his brother, the sons of Rimmon the Beerothite, and said unto them, As the LORD liveth, who hath redeemed my soul out of all adversity, 10. When one told me, saying, Behold, Saul is dead, thinking to have brought good tidings, I took hold of him, and slew him in Ziklag, who thought that I would have given him a reward for his tidings: 11. How much more, when wicked men have slain a righteous person in his own house upon his bed? shall I not therefore now require his blood of your hand, and take you away from the earth? 12. And David commanded his young men, and they slew them, and cut off their hands and their feet, and hanged them up over the pool in Hebron. But they took the head of Ish-bosheth, and buried it in the sepulchre of Abner in Hebron.

David asks these guys "Didn't you hear what I did to the guy who told me he had killed Saul in battle? You guys are here telling me you killed an innocent man in his bed. What do you think I'm going to do to you?"

And he immediately orders that they are executed, has their hands and feet cut off and has them hung up and displayed. Then he takes Ish-bosheth's head and buries it in Abner's tomb.

author: Ryan Hayden

Conclusion

These are the events that finally lead to David becoming king. It's just a big mess. Top to bottom - it's a big mess.

And as we wrap this story up, I want you to think about this: life is messy.

• We have the messes of our many personal failures.
• We have the messes that other people make in their own seeking for power.
• We have the messes of broken relationships and grudges.
• We have the messes people make when they are trying to take God's will into their own hands.
• There are the messes that are forced on us by the shortcomings of our family.

Those are just the types of messes we see in this story. There are many more types of messes.

Life is full of messes. They are inevitable.

But I want you to see a few things from this story about the messes of life.

First, God works His will and plan despite the mess.

This mess - all of it - was all a part of what God intended when David was anointed to be king.

Joseph's mess - his family disfunction, his being throne into a pit, his being sold into slavery, his going to prison unjustly - all of that was part of God's plan for the salvation of Israel.

When the Bible says

[!bible] Romans 8:28 - KJV 28. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

That "all things" includes the messes of life. So if you are in a mess right now, know that God has it under control.

Second, We can walk with God through the mess.

I think that is the difference between David and so many of the other actors in this story. David isn't perfect. David makes mistakes. But David keeps walking with God. He backslides at times, but he gets right with God.

His relationship with God helps him as he goes through the mess.

God never promises to deliver us from the mess of this life - but He does promise to go through it with us. To comfort us in the mess.

David wrote Psalm 18 during this time. Listen to what he said about God.

[!bible] Psalms 18:1-3 - KJV

1. I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
2. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
3. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.

Listen, you are going through the mess one way or another - David teaches us that it is so much better to go through it when you are walking with the Lord.

The last thing I was thinking about as I tried to make sense of this story is...

Third, God helps us to forget our messes, or at least see them in perspective.

When I opened this message, I talked about the messes of childhood. But for the most part, we don't remember the messes, we remember the high points. We put the messes in perspective.

As a believer who is walking with the Lord, whose mercies are new every morning, God gives us the ability to keep following Him and not be held back by the messes in our past.

All of it is in God's hands, and God is good and He is leading us towards something that is good.

author: Ryan Hayden So, as we close this story, let’s hold onto this truth: life is messy, but God is sovereign over the mess. Every twist and turn in David’s journey—every betrayal, every failure, every tear—was part of the path that led him to the throne. And the same is true for us. The messes in your life right now—the family struggles, the broken plans, the regrets—they don’t catch God off guard. They’re not the end of your story. They’re part of the road to where God is taking you.

Let me leave you with this encouragement: Don’t give up in the mess. David didn’t. He kept seeking God, even when the path was muddy and the way forward unclear. And God was faithful to bring him through. He’ll do the same for you.

If you are in a mess tonight (and we all are), bring it to the Lord. Keep following Him through it. God is taking you somewhere, trust Him and His goodness.