author: Ryan Hayden Take your Bibles with me and turn to 2 Samuel chapter 18. 2 Samuel 18.

I have a confession to make. I've been reading quite a few novels lately. Particularly by one author - a guy who one of our visiting preachers put me onto - named Sean Deitrich (or Sean of the South.)

He's one of those writers who, every time I read one of his books, I cry. He just has a way of plucking my heart strings and reminding me of what is important. Typically, his main characters are very flawed people who have redemption stories.

Recently, I finished a book where the main character was a 62 year old town drunk. He had one daughter, who he loved dearly, but he had messed up so much in life that they barely had any contact with each other. In the book, his daughter finds out she's dieing with cancer - and the man is just filled with regrets about how he lived and how he parented his daughter.

In the novel, he ends up meeting a teenaged girl who works at a waffle house and adopting her, and that is the spark he needs to get sober and get back in church.

But a whole lot of the book is just the raw emotion of regret. In our story tonight, probably more than any other Bible story, we are going to see the raw emotion of regret. David grieves hard and he is in so much of a tailspin of grief and regret that he almost loses everything because of it.

In 2 Samuel, David isn't exactly Father of the Year. For one, he let his personal sins take over his life, and invited the judgment of God. Then his son rapes his daughter and he doesn't do anything about it. Then his other son, Absalom murders his brother, and David basically does nothing. After years, Absalom tries to reconcile and it gets nowhere. Absalom had to force the issue.

For a few weeks now we've been talking about Absalom's rebellion. Last week we saw David on the run, being helped by his friends. Tonight I want to look at chapter 18 and the first bit of chapter 19 and see how this chapter in David's life ends.

There are three things I want you to see in this story:

• How rebellions end.
• How even grief and raw emotion can be self-centered and wrong.
• How David's failure points us to Christ.

Let's pray and we'll jump into this passage.

The first thing I want us to look at tonight is:

1. How rebellions end.

If you remember, Absalom is in full on rebellion against David. Absalom played it right. He gently pointed at his father's inadequacies and suggested he would do better. After years of this, Absalom was able to execute a coup and most of Israel was behind him. Even Ahithophel, David's best advisor, stood behind Absalom.

This left David running for his life and hiding in the wilderness again. All of this has setup a battle between the forces loyal to David and most of Israel - who has cast their lot in with Absalom. That's what we see in chapter 18.

Let's get started by reading verses 1-17 tonight:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 18:1-17 - KJV

1. And David numbered the people that were with him, and set captains of thousands and captains of hundreds over them.
2. And David sent forth a third part of the people under the hand of Joab, and a third part under the hand of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, and a third part under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said unto the people, I will surely go forth with you myself also.
3. But the people answered, Thou shalt not go forth: for if we flee away, they will not care for us; neither if half of us die, will they care for us: but now thou art worth ten thousand of us: therefore now it is better that thou succour us out of the city.
4. And the king said unto them, What seemeth you best I will do. And the king stood by the gate side, and all the people came out by hundreds and by thousands.
5. And the king commanded Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom. And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom.
6. So the people went out into the field against Israel: and the battle was in the wood of Ephraim;
7. Where the people of Israel were slain before the servants of David, and there was there a great slaughter that day of twenty thousand men.
8. For the battle was there scattered over the face of all the country: and the wood devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.
9. And Absalom met the servants of David. And Absalom rode upon a mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between the heaven and the earth; and the mule that was under him went away.
10. And a certain man saw it, and told Joab, and said, Behold, I saw Absalom hanged in an oak.
11. And Joab said unto the man that told him, And, behold, thou sawest him, and why didst thou not smite him there to the ground? and I would have given thee ten shekels of silver, and a girdle.
12. And the man said unto Joab, Though I should receive a thousand shekels of silver in mine hand, yet would I not put forth mine hand against the king’s son: for in our hearing the king charged thee and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Beware that none touch the young man Absalom.
13. Otherwise I should have wrought falsehood against mine own life: for there is no matter hid from the king, and thou thyself wouldest have set thyself against me.
14. Then said Joab, I may not tarry thus with thee. And he took three darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he was yet alive in the midst of the oak.
15. And ten young men that bare Joab’s armour compassed about and smote Absalom, and slew him.
16. And Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing after Israel: for Joab held back the people.
17. And they took Absalom, and cast him into a great pit in the wood, and laid a very great heap of stones upon him: and all Israel fled every one to his tent.

So what happens here?

David is on the run, he has a small army with him. He knows a battle is coming - so he sets up his army with generals and captains.

The king had one command and he made sure the whole army heard it: he asked them to deal gently with Absalom.

So they have this battle. The huge army of Israel verses the small band of David's followers. The battle takes place in the thick woods of Ephraim.

What's going to happen? Is it going to be the huge army of Absalom or the small army of David?

What happens is David's forces have a decisive victory. They probably chose their ground well, because it tells us that the woods killed as many people as people who died from swords.

But what about Absalom?

Absalom comes into the battle on a mule. He probably was trying to make a big scene. He's riding this mule through the woods and as the mule went under an oak tree, he was caught by his hair in the oak tree - the mule kept going and he was hanging there. Stuck.

It's interesting, that in chapter 17, Ahithophel, the other major party in this rebellion, hangs himself. Here Absalom hangs. He's just there hanging from a tree.

When one of the soldiers saw it, he told Joab that Absalom was hanging from an oak tree and Joab said "Why didn't you kill him? I would have rewarded you with ten sheckles and and some clothes."

The man said "Even if you gave me a thousand shekels, I wouldn't do it, because I heard what the king said to you and if I did that I would be signing my death warrant and even you would have turned against me."

Then Joab said "I'm not going to stand around and talk about this with you" and he grabbed three darts and thrust them through Absalom's heart while he was hanging from the oak tree. Then his ten armor bearers stood around Absalom and beat him and killed him.

Then they bury Absalom's body in a shallow grave in the woods. They buy him like a traitor.

Look at verse 18. When I first read this, I didn't know what to think of it.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 18:18 - KJV 18. Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and reared up for himself a pillar, which is in the king’s dale: for he said, I have no son to keep my name in remembrance: and he called the pillar after his own name: and it is called unto this day, Absalom’s place.

You see, Absalom made himself a monument. It takes a real ego-maniac to make themselves a monument in their life - and that was Absalom. But Absalom wasn't buried in that big fancy monument in the field of kings - he was buried in a shallow grave in the woods - he died the death of a traitor.

And so I think one of the things this story is supposed to teach us is that this is the end of rebellion. Rebellion leads in death. Rebellion leads to losing everything.

As Tim Chester put it:

Death and defeat are the fate of all of those who choose to rule their own lives in defiance of God's' anointed.

What Absalom did was to say "You aren't my king. I am going to rule." He took David's throne. He took the authority away from the rightful king and gave it to himself.

And listen, when we rebel against God, we are kind of doing the same thing. God has the right to be the King in our lives, but in our rebellion, we make ourselves the king. In our pride, we lift ourselves up.

When we rebel, it’s not always a dramatic coup like Absalom’s. It’s choosing our way over God’s—ignoring His Word, chasing selfish desires, or acting like we’re the king of our lives.

And church, it's not going to end well for you.

[!bible] Galatians 6:7-8 - KJV 7. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

If you sow rebellion from God - you aren't going to end up in a palace, but in corruption. That is the end of rebels.

So what should we do? We should fall on the Son and be broken, because the other alternative is having the son fall on us and grinding us to powder. (Luke 20:18)

Absalom’s rebellion ended in death, but David’s response—his grief—shows another kind of failure. And both point us to a better King who redeems rebels like us.

So we've talked about how rebellions end. Let's move onto the second point and look at:

2. How grief and raw emotion can be self-centered and wrong.

Let me summarize what happens in the rest of the chapter. After Jaob and his men have killed Absalom, the rebellion just kind of falls apart. Joab blows the trumpet and the whole thing is over.

But David hasn't gotten the news yet. One man "Ahimaaz" who is the son of the High Priest Zadok, he wants to be the one to tell David. But Joab is like "That's not a good idea Ahimaaz" - Joab knew from experience what could happen when people gave David bad news.

So Joab sends a gentile to go. A Cushite. Then Ahimaaz keeps begging and Joab lets him go.

Both of these messengers get to where David is hiding at the same time. With Ahimaaz just beating out the Cushite.

They ask Ahimaaz for the news and he blows it. So David is like "Stand aside let me hear what this other guy has to say?" And he asks the Cushite "Is the young man Absalom safe?"

And the Cushite says "May all your enemies end up like that young man is." Basically - he says "He's been destroyed and it was bad."

Now, look at verse 33.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 18:33 - KJV 33. And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!

David is shaking. He's physically overwhelmed by emotion and grief. And he just runs up into his room and cries.

This is raw emotion. Regret. Grief. Guilt. All wrapped up together.

Listen to how Chuck Swindoll describes it:

David was caught in an emotional vortex that paralyzed him. Sometimes grief does that do you. Its's like you're in a dungeon and somebody locks the door from the outside, and you can't get out. You try your best, but you're still in there. And all of a sudden a friend finds a way to climb in.

That's what Joab did.

Look at chapter 19.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 19:1-4 - KJV

1. And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom.
2. And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son.
3. And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle.
4. But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!

This grief kept going. And it caused a problem. You see - the people who just came back from battle. The people who had just risked their lives for David. They couldn't celebrate. They had to sneak back in like they lost because of David's grief.

If this keeps going - David is going to lose everything. He's going to lose his most loyal followers.

So Joab steps in. Look at verses 5-6:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 19:5-6 - KJV 5. And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; 6. In that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.

Did you catch what Joab was saying? He was saying "these men put their lives on the line for you - and you are more concerned about someone who hated you than you are them - you seem like you would be happier if he was still alive and all of us who bled for you were dead."

Joab wasn't a perfect guy. But he was being a good friend here. He was speaking the truth in love. David needed someone to tell him to pull himself together. And that is exactly what he did in verses 7 and 8.

Church, we live in a day where emotion is almost always given a pass. The common opinion seems to be that if someone feels something, and they feel it sincerely - then who are we to say anything?

But I want to tell you - just because we have an emotion - even an emotion like grief - doesn't mean that it is right for us to give into that emotion. To let that emotion run our lives.

Listen, we can show grace to David - we can understand he was feeling somethings. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. Some of you have gone through that. I don't even want to think about how hard that is.

But even that grief can't stop us from doing what is right.

After Joab talked to him, David still didn't feel like going out and being the king, but he let his understanding of what was right be bigger than what he felt.

So we've talked about how rebellion ends and we've seen from this story how even grief and raw emotion can be self-centered and wrong.

Where is the light in this story? What are we supposed to get from this?

Let me give you one more point very quickly and we'll be done. I think we can see a third thing in this story.

3. How David's failure points us to Christ

Church, let’s put ourselves in this story. Who are you?

You’re not David, the flawed king. You’re Absalom—the rebel who’s tried to take the throne from a Father far holier than David ever was.

Every time we ignore God’s Word, chase our own desires, or act like we’re the king of our lives, we’re raising our own monument, just like Absalom did (2 Samuel 18:18).

Before this rebellion, Absalom tried to come home, but David wouldn’t see him. He banished him, kept him at a distance (2 Samuel 14:24). Even when David finally cries, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son!” in 2 Samuel 18:33, it’s too late—the first time he calls Absalom his son, and it’s over a grave. David’s regret is real, but his love fell short.

Now, compare that to our heavenly Father. When we rebels come to Him, He doesn’t turn us away. He doesn’t wait at the gate—He runs to us, like the father in the prodigal son story (Luke 15:20).

David said, “I wish I had died for you” (2 Samuel 18:33), but it was just words. God didn’t just wish—He sent His Son, Jesus, to die in our place.

[!bible] Romans 5:8 - KJV
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

While we were still rebels, Christ took our punishment, so we could be God’s children again—so we could be welcomed home.

Think back to that novel I mentioned, about the town drunk who regretted failing his daughter. His story turned when he took in that Waffle House girl, finding a spark of redemption. But even that’s just a shadow of what God does for us. No matter how far you’ve rebelled or how heavy your regret, God’s arms are open, and Jesus’ death has paid the price to bring you home.

Church, this story of Absalom’s rebellion and David’s regret isn’t just history—it’s our story. Maybe you’re carrying rebellion tonight, building your own monument, thinking you can be your own king. Or maybe you’re stuck in regret, like David, grieving what you can’t change. Hear this: you don’t have to stay there. Jesus, the true King, took the traitor’s grave we deserved so we could have the palace of His grace.