Take your Bibles with me tonight and turn to 1 Corinthians 13 again. 1 Corinthians 13. Let's go ahead and read this beautiful chapter together.
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - KJV
- Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
- And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
- And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
- Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
- Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
- Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
- Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
- Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
- For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
- But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
- When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
- For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
- And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
Last week, I preached on this chapter, and I really didn't want to move on from it. It was a good summary, but I wanted to go a little deeper tonight into the section of this chapter that describes how love acts in verses 4-7.
A lot of this message tonight comes from a book I picked up years ago on 1 Corinthians 13 called "Love Gives Life" by Evan May. I don't know anything about the author, but feel like this is a perfect explanation of these verses, so I'm borrowing heavily from it here.
We live in a culture that is obsessed with love, but one that cannot define it to save it's life.
For most people, when they talk about love, they are talking about something they feel and about something, that (even though it is glorified) is actually kind of selfish.
When we say "I love you" what we are really saying is "you make me feel good" and "I want you." (At least that's how people think of romantic love.)
But what happens when you don't make me feel good anymore? What happens when life get's hard or mundaine? Does that mean I don't love you anymore - that I've fallen out of love?
The way people speak of love it is like it is some kind of accident. "I can't help falling in love with you" might sound good in a song - but does that also mean "I can't help it if I don't love you anymore?"
That's how our culture thinks of love - as this passive thing.
Of course, the love 1 Corinthians 13 is talking about is not a romantic or selfish love. It is a love that shows up most clearly in Christ - and the love He has called us to live in.
Biblical love is a determined commitment to seek another's good, regardless of cost to yourself.
When you think about what love means, think about this: what about when there is nothing lovely about a person? What about when they can do nothing for you? Nothing at all? What happens to love then?
Jesus loved us when we were unlovely. He loved us when we were His enemies. He loved us when it cost Him dearly. We could do nothing for Him, and yet He loved us.
Here is the key thing this passage teaches us about love - it isn't passive - it is active. Love does. Everything in verses 4-11 is a verb, is an action. It is how love acts.
It is not "this is how I feel about you" it is "this, by God's grace, is how I'm determined to treat you." Your feelings will follow your commitment and your actions.
And here is the crazy thing about this chapter - it's not primarily about the love between a husband and wife or the love between a father and son, it is primarily about the love that a church is supposed to show towards each other.
And as you read verses 5-7, this famous description of how love acts, it is basically the opposite of how the Corinthian church has been acting. In just about every one of these phrases, we can look at this chapter and see an example in how the Corinthians were not loving each other like this.
That's how I want to approach this list tonight. Don't think of it as a list of how to love your husband or your kids (although it works for that) think of it as a list of how to love your fellow church members.
With that in mind, lets read verses 4-7 again.
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - KJV 4. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
I want to go through this list with you this evening and look at 8 different characteristics of love. For each characteristic, we are going to look at this book and see how the Corinthian church wasn't loving like this, and we are going to apply it to our church and how we treat each other.
The first characteristic is...
1. Love suffers long
Another way to say this is love is patient. Love is able to receive wounds without trying to even the score. Love doesn't retaliate.
The nature of being in a community with people is this - people are going to hurt you. You stay here long enough and someone is going to let you down. Someone might even break your heart.
Love isn't interested in getting back. It isn't interested in settling the score. It suffers long.
This is basic Christianity in action. It is turning the other cheek. It is...
[!bible] 1 Peter 3:9 - KJV 9. Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
Now, you can look at the Corinthian church and you can see that they were not like this. They weren't willing to be hurt by others. And do you know how we know they weren't like this? Because they were taking each other to court over petty matters.
And Paul said "why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?" Why don't you just let others take advantage of you - that is suffering long.
Listen as believers, we understand that any sin against us Christ has already paid for, He's already been punished for it. If an unbeliever wrongs us, we are to leave it to the wrath of God.
[!bible] Romans 12:19 - KJV 19. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Love suffers long like Christ suffered long for us.
Now, what does this look like in a modern church context? It means when someone snaps at you in the parking lot, when someone criticizes your ministry, when someone forgets to thank you for serving - you don't keep score. You don't wait for an apology. You just keep loving.
Love suffers long.
Let's move onto the next one
2. Love is kind
Another way of saying this is that love actively tries to show goodness to those who don't deserve it.
As we said in our Sunday School lesson this morning, love tries to get a deficit. It glories in giving when we won't be able to get back in return.
Love wants to give, love wants to bless, love wants to help - even when those who we are giving to, blessing and loving aren't people who can or ever will pay us back.
Here is how most of us think about love? We unconsciously think "can this person help me?" If I buy this person a gift, will they give back to me?
But that isn't Christian love. That isn't kindness.
[!bible] Luke 6:35 - KJV 35. But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
That is love.
In the church at Corinth - Paul was being very kind to this church. They had rejected him, they had mocked him, they questioned his authority and apostleship - and yet Paul starts the letter by saying "I am always thanking God for you."
That is kindness in action.
In church maybe someone is a jerk. Maybe they are never going to give back to you. Maybe they will always be served. Maybe you think they are a hopeless case. Love them anyways. That's kindness.
Let's look at the third characteristic of love in the church...
3. Love does not envy or boast
The text says "charity envieth not, vaunteth not itself."
We know from our study of Corinthians that the church people there were doing both of these things.
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 3:3 - KJV 3. For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?
They were envious of each other's spiritual gifts. We saw that in the last chapter. And then some of them were boastful about the gifts that they did have.
They were constantly comparing themselves to each other, ready to be envious when they didn't seem to get as much as the next guy or to brag and show off when they seemed to have some special talent.
Envy and boasting are really two sides of the same coin - both spring from pride. When I envy, I'm saying 'I deserve what you have.' When I boast, I'm saying 'Look what I have - aren't you impressed?' Both make it about me.
Listen to chapter 4:7
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 4:7 - KJV 7. For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as if thou hadst not received it?
Paul reminded them over and over again in this book that this isn't how we act as Christians.
Listen, we are rich, but we are rich in the gospel. We are rich, but that richness comes from Christ's work in us. It isn't us. Everything we have we are undeserving of.
So how does this work out in our church? Look when you look at someone who seems to have it all together - first, know that they don't. None of us do. But then we need to praise God for that - don't envy. Be grateful for what God has given you.
And if God has given you a talent - it's not for bragging rights - its for His glory and building other people up - not for building yourself up.
Love is not envious and love isn't puffed up.
4. Not arrogant or rude
Charity is not puffed up, behaveth not unseemly
Again, these things go together. Being puffed up means you are a windbag. You are arrogant. It's all about you.
The word 'puffed up' appears six times in this letter. It's one of Paul's main criticisms of this church. They were arrogant about their wisdom (chapters 1-2), arrogant about their tolerance of sin (5:2), arrogant about their knowledge (8:1). They thought they had spiritually arrived."
"Behaveth not unseemly" means you are rude and inconsiderate of others. We know both of these things were happening in the church at Corinth.
Look at chapter 8 verse 1
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 8:1 - KJV
- Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.
Remember "we know that we all have knowlege" is probably a quote. Paul is sarcasticly quoting these Corinthians "we have knowlege" and Paul said "you are puffed up, you are a bunch of windbags
The other side of being puffed up is being rude. That's what "behaveth not unseemly" means. It means we don't act dishonorably or disgracefully to others. When we are all about ourselves and arrogant, it makes it easier for us to be rude to others.
When they Corinthians were taking the Lord's supper in chapter 11, they were rudely trying to ensure that the poor people didn't get anything to eat and they were even getting drunk.
This is the opposite of how love acts. Christian love is humble and goes out of its way to not hurt others.
This shows up in lots of ways in our interactions in church. Do we make it all about us? Do we dominate conversations, always steering them back to our stories, our problems, our opinions? Do we dismiss others' ideas in meetings? Do we speak with a condescending tone to those we think are less mature? Do we get offended when someone sits in 'our seat' or parks in 'our spot'? Do we interrupt people or talk over them?
Love doesn't demand the spotlight. Love doesn't need to prove it's the smartest person in the room. Love treats others with dignity and respect, even when they disagree with us.
We are halfway through this list, let's keep going.
5. Does not insist on its own way
Or as the text say "charity seeketh not her own."
These Corinthians were all about them and their point of view. They were willing to trash others who didn't agree with them.
You can see this in how they handled the sticky point of meat offered to idols. It was like they were saying "You don't like it when I eat meat sold to idols - well just deal with it!"
But Paul spent a long time in this chapter teaching them that God is glorified when we give up our own way, even if it is legitimate liberty in Christ, we give it up for others.
And Paul modeled that with his own life.
[!bible] 1 Corinthians 10:33 - KJV 33. Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.
Paul gave up so much so that others could be saved and invited us to do the same thing.
Church, when we love each other, it isn't about our preference or our way. We care about others so much we are willing to give up what we want for them.
What does this look like practically? It means in our business meetings, we don't dig in our heels and refuse to budge just because we have strong opinions. It means we're willing to compromise on secondary matters for the sake of unity.
It means when we're planning an event, we don't insist it has to be done exactly the way we've always done it or exactly the way we prefer. We ask 'what's best for the body?' not 'what's best for me?'
It means being flexible about service times, flexible about singing our favorite songs, flexible about the temperature in the building, flexible about where we sit, how we do things. These aren't hills to die on.
Let's look at the sixth thing...
6. Love is not irritable or resentful
At the text says "is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;"
Some people are just quarrelsome. They are looking for a fight. They are always ready to drop their hockey stick and throw the gloves down and start punching. They are easily insulted.
And some people when they get insulted stay insulted.
Paul here says that love doesn't act like this. Love doesn't handle insult like this. We are hard to insult, hard to provoke and we are people that refuse to think evil of others when we are insulted.
You know, God doesn't keep a record of our wrongs. It's almost like God has purposely decided to forget how to do math. He isn't keeping score. He has lost count of the times we have insulted Him. He isn't holding it against us.
That is how we should treat others in love.
If you stay around here long enough, some one is going to insult you. Someone is going to hurt your feelings. Maybe you'll hear they said something about you that was critical. Maybe they will oppose something you are trying to do. Maybe they'll just straight up attack you.
Love requires you do two things: be really hard to offend and then forget it when people do hurt you.
7. Doesn't rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth
This seems to be what was happening in chapter 5 when they were looking past what their church member was doing.
In this case love meant kicking them out of the church!
Sometimes the duty of love necessitates the redemtive discipline of professing Christians who persist in unrepentent sin.
Rejoicing in evil could also mean being overjoyed at the fall of another, or being vindictive when it comes to the wrongdoings of others.
When you discover that someone you don't particularly enjoy has fallen into sin or struggles with a certain weakness, does it make you happy?
8. Love endures all
Love is designed to put up with everything that is thrown at it and just keep loving.
