author: Ryan Hayden Take your Bibles with me and turn to 2 Samuel 13. 2 Samuel chapter 13.

Two weeks ago, we looked at one of the saddest chapters in the whole Bible. David, the mighty hero, the man after God's own heart, the little m messiah of Israel - David sinned in a very grievous and terrible way:

• He gave in completely to lust,
• took advantage of a woman named Bathsheba,
• then conspired to hide it
• and ultimately murdered her husband and took her as his own.

Then last week we looked at David's repentance. He was confronted by Nathan the prophet saying "thou art the man" and he admitted to his sin and got his heart right with God.

Because of David's repentance, God spared David and did not give him the full punishment for his sin. David's sins deserved death - and David didn't get death - instead, David's infant son died in his place. The innocent for the guilty. And so last week we talked about how that is a picture for us of the gospel.

Well, tonight, we are going to talk about the consequences of David's sin. The consequences of David's sin.

You see, David was forgiven of his sin. He was not given the punishment for his sin. David would not face death and hell and the judgment of an angry God. David could once again commune with God.

But there is a difference between the punishment for sin and the consequence for sin. Just because we are spared from the punishment for our sin because of Christ, doesn't mean that we are spared from the devastating consequence of our sin on this earth.

And here in our chapter tonight we are going to see the tragic consequences of David's sin start to play out in his life.

I'm preaching on 2 Samuel 13 tonight, but I want to start in chapter 12 and look at verse 10. This is God, speaking to David.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 12:10 - KJV 10. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife.

God told David that because of what he did, the sword would never depart out of his house.

Now, look at chapter 13 verse 1:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 13:1 - KJV

1. And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.

Notice that phrase "it came to pass after." After what? After David's episode with Bathsheba. After God told David that the sword wouldn't leave his house.

And notice this second thing. You and I would probably read this chapter and say it is mostly about David's son Amnon. But verse 1 says that "Absalom son of David had a fair sister."

That's kind of a weird way to introduce her - and the idea here is that this next section of 2 Samuel is going to be about Absalom. God is going to vex David primarily though his son Absalom. We are going to start to see that here.

But the main point of this chapter is this: Sin, whether the sin of lust, the sin of bad influences, the sin of passive parenting - it bears destructive consequences. In this chapter we are going to see David reap the harvest of his own sin in the actions of his children.

Let's go ahead and read the whole chapter tonight. It's an intersting story - very dark - but also very interesting and easy to follow. Let me read it.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 13:1-39 - KJV

1. And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
2. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.
3. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.
4. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.
5. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.
6. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand.
7. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him meat.
8. So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes.
9. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.
10. And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.
11. And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister.
12. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly.
13. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.
14. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
15. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.
16. And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her.
17. Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.
18. And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her.
19. And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.
20. And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.
21. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.
22. And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
23. And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal-hazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons.
24. And Absalom came to the king, and said, Behold now, thy servant hath sheepshearers; let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant.
25. And the king said to Absalom, Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee. And he pressed him: howbeit he would not go, but blessed him.
26. Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee?
27. But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
28. Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous and be valiant.
29. And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.
30. And it came to pass, while they were in the way, that tidings came to David, saying, Absalom hath slain all the king’s sons, and there is not one of them left.
31. Then the king arose, and tare his garments, and lay on the earth; and all his servants stood by with their clothes rent.
32. And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.
33. Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.
34. But Absalom fled. And the young man that kept the watch lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, there came much people by the way of the hill side behind him.
35. And Jonadab said unto the king, Behold, the king’s sons come: as thy servant said, so it is.
36. And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of speaking, that, behold, the king’s sons came, and lifted up their voice and wept: and the king also and all his servants wept very sore.
37. But Absalom fled, and went to Talmai, the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.
38. So Absalom fled, and went to Geshur, and was there three years.
39. And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.

That is a dark story. As we consider it tonight, I want to share four lessons for us from this story. This is very applicable to each of us, and so I pray you'll give the word your full attention tonight.

Let's pray.

The first thing I believe God would have us learn from this story is...

1. You reap what you so.

Galatians 6:7-8 says:

[!bible] Galatians 6:7-8 - KJV 7. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

David had sown sin. He had sown to the flesh. He had sown lust - treating Bathsheba as little more than an instrument for his own gratification. He had sown deceit and murder - killing Uriah and several others.

And now, in chapter 13, he starts to reap the harvest.

Amnon is David's oldest son. He's the crown prince. He's very likely next in line.

He's also obviously a spoiled brat. He develops a crush on his half-sister Tamar. (I used to watch a woodworking youtuber named Tamar and that is how she said her name. So that is how I'm saying it.) Now, if that sounds gross to you - that's because it is.

Leviticus 18:9 says:

[!bible] Leviticus 18:9 - KJV 9. The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

God had completely forbidden men to marry their sisters and half-sisters. It was not ok. It was no-beuno.
Amnon had to have known this. He didn't care. He was overtaken by lust for his sister. So much so that he made himself sick.

Now, were these real feelings? Absolutely. I don't think we can read this story and come to the conclusion that Amnon was faking anything. He really was attracted to his half-sister Tamar.

But obviously, God wasn't in it. And obviously, it wasn't love. It was lust. It was a sinful desire that he should have killed long before it grew into the infatuation that it became.

Amnon made himself sick thinking about his sister! She was apparently the one thing in his life he couldn't have.
And his cousin, a snake of a guy named Jonadab noticed and recommended that he set it up and rape her.

Now, make no doubt about this - Amnon was responsible for Amnon's sin. Not Jonadab. Not David. Certainly not Tamar.

But in a sense, Amnon's sin of lust was reaping what His father David had sown. David gave in to lust, and Amnon gave way into lust.

That's how reaping and sowing works, see. The fruit is always much bigger than the seed. David's seed of lust grew into Amnon being completely given over to lust.

Amnon's seeds of lustful thinking turned into a harvest of horrific lustful sinning.

Church, the consequences are ugly. This chapter is ugly. Incestous rape. Murder. Broken families. That's ugly!

And I can tell you that sin's consequences are just as ugly today. Your sin harvest might not be as big as David and Amnon's was. But it will be destructive, it will be more than you expect - and it will leave a trail of carnage and chaos in it's path.

Because if you sow the to the flesh, you of the flesh reap destruction.

So before we move on, I want you to think are there any sins in your life that you are planting? Are there any sin seeds today that you need to rip out before they turn into an awful and devastating harvest?

You reap what you sow, that is the first thing this story teaches us.

The second thing this story teaches us is...

2. It matters who your friends are.

Amnon is love-sick. He is lust-sick. And his cousin Jonadab the snake sees him and says "What's the matter cus?" And Amnon tells him.

Now, look, if he was a good friend, he would have said "Get your head on straight man! That's your sister. It's forbidden. Go on a camping trip. Go get some accountability. Go worship God. Get your head right."

But that's not what Jonadab said. Jonadab told him just how to rape his sister. He gave him a plan for the destruction of his soul. He encouraged Amnon in his sin.

Friends, it matters who your friends are. It matters a lot.

[!bible] Proverbs 13:20 - KJV 20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Psalm 1:1

[!bible] Psalms 1:1 - KJV

1. Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

Look, you have so little control over so many things in your life. You can't change the country you were born in, you can't change how tall you are. You can't change your eye color or your skin color. But you can do this - you have this power - you can choose who your friends will be, you can choose who will and will not influence you.

But make no doubt about it. Who you choose to be your friends will shape who you are and what you do. As the Apostle Paul put it:

[!bible] 1 Corinthians 15:33 - KJV 33. Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.

You can't hang around with wicked people and it not rub off on the way you live. You cannot fill your mind with trash and it not affect your behavior.

Amnon failed himself by hanging around Jonadab - who are you hanging out with? Who is your Jonadab?

So we've seen two lessons so far in this story:

1. You reap what you sow
2. It matters who your friends are

Let's consider a third lesson as we continue to think through this story:

3. Lust is blinding and destructive.

Amnon follows Jonadab's advice. He goes to his father (we'll talk about that in a minute) and gets him to send Tamar to come visit him at his house and cook for him. Then he asks everyone else to leave and forces his sister.

Look again at what Tamar said in verses 12-13:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 13:12-13 - KJV 12. And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. 13. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee.

Laying aside that last part - which I think may have been a stalling tactic - what Tamar says here is incredibly clear eyed. She is saying "Look Amnon. Look at the consequences. You are going to ruin my life. You are going to ruin your life. The shame of this thing will never leave us."

She's absolutely right. But Amnon can't see that. Because he is blinded by lust. He does his thing.

And then immediately, he hates her. He doesn't love her. He hates her. She's trash to him now. Amnon never loved her - she was just a thing to be used. She's just a smoked cigarette now - and so he tosses her aside.

He calls for his men to come get her and he doesn't even use her name - he says "get this woman out of here" and locks the door.

Girls, some guy may act like he loves you. He may say all manner of sweet things to you. But if he is trying to get you to do things the Bible forbids - he is just using you and as soon as you give in to him he will throw you aside and move onto another conquest. If he really loves you then he will wait.

But lust will blind you. Lust will keep you from seeing the consequences. Then it will use you up and throw you out.

In that society, after what Amnon did to her, she was worthless. So she ripped her dress and put ashes on her head. This wasn't a secret.

1. You reap what you sow
2. It matters who your friends are
3. Lust is blinding and destructive.

And that brings me to my last point from this story...

You know, Amnon is no doubt a villain in this story. Jonadab is a villain in this story. Absalom, is a villain in this story.

But there is one more person in this story whose behavior is absolutely baffling and that is king David.

David obviously was in the habit of giving his kids everything they wanted. That's why Tamar would say "He won't withhold me from you." That's why Jonadab would say "Go ask your father, and he'll give it to you." That's' why at the end of the chapter, against his better judgment, David let Absalom throw a big party that all the kings kids had to go to.

Because he was a spoiler. He was an enabler. And that's not the worst thing David did here.

David learns that Amnon raped his sister and that he was complicit in it and he is very angry about it. Look at verse 21 again:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 13:21 - KJV 21. But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth.

He's very wroth. He's very angry. But look at the next verse.

"And Absolom."

Wait? What? Is something missing there? I mean, David was angry so he did something about it, right? He confronted Amnon. He brought Amnon out for punishment. Right? Right?

No. He got angry and then he did nothing.

So there is one more awful sin that brings awful consequences.

• We've talked about how you reap what you sow.
• We've talked about how it matters who your friends are.
• We've talked about how lust blinds people.

The last thing I want to teach you from this story is..

4. Permissive, Passive, Parenting is destructive.

You see David was a passive parent. A permissive parent. A spoiling parent.

David, it seems, was too busy doing his own thing to give his kids any attention - so he gave them whatever they wanted as a substitute.

Parents, God has given us a job to do.

[!bible] Ephesians 6:4 - KJV 4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

We have this mission - to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

That's not the church's job. That's not the school's job. That's on us.

Listen, a whole lot of men, even Christian men in this country, know more about what is on SportsCenter than they do about what is on their children's mind. They are more into their hobbies than they are into the mission God has given them with their kids.

If men were as passive about their jobs as they are about their families, then they would have been fired years ago.

Conclusion

Let me bring this home for us. We’ve seen a sobering story unfold—one where sin didn’t just fade away but left a trail of destruction. The consequences were real: broken relationships, unchecked desires, and a family spiraling out of control. It started with one man’s compromise, and his failure to step up as a leader only fueled the chaos.

So, I urge you to examine your own heart tonight. What seeds are you sowing? Are there habits or attitudes—maybe anger, selfishness, or neglect—that could take root and grow into something you’ll regret? Now’s the time to deal with them, before the harvest comes.

Think about who’s shaping your life. Are the people around you drawing you closer to God, or are they pulling you in the wrong direction? Choose wisely—surround yourself with those who’ll lift you up and point you to what’s true.

And if you’re a parent, don’t step back. Your kids need you—your guidance, your love, your presence. Don’t just know where they are; know who they are. Lead them with intention, because stepping away can leave a gap that trouble rushes to fill.

If you don’t know Jesus yet, listen: sin has a cost, but He paid it. He took the weight of it on the cross so you wouldn’t have to. Trust Him tonight—He offers forgiveness and a new beginning. Even so, let’s not pretend sin doesn’t leave marks; it does, and that’s why we need Him all the more.