author: Ryan Hayden Take your Bibles with me and turn to 2 Samuel chapter 16. 2 Samuel 16. We are going to talk tonight about one of king David's lowest points. Just an absolute low point in his life and in his reign.

He's on the run. He's hiding again. He's back to his days of being a fugitive. Only this time, he's not on the run from King Saul - he's on the run from his own son. From Absolom.

David has lost just about everything. He's lost his throne. He's lost his home. He's lost the support of the people. He probably has few possessions to his name again.

His own son is hunting him down to kill him. Think about that. The people are supporting his son. Some of his closest friends and advisors are supporting his son.

At the beginning of chapter 16, David hears that Mephibosheth - the lame son of Jonathan - has betrayed him.

Then, one of Saul's family members, a guy named Shimei, takes the opportunity to pile on and call David ever name in the book. He was accusing David of things that weren't quite true - but were close enough to sting. He accused him of being bloodthirsty and being a bad king. It's lowest and darkest point in David's life.

In chapter 15 verse 30 it tells us that they are all weeping. They are all depressed. You would be too. David has lost everything.

But do you know what? This is a low point in David's life and reign, but it wasn't the end. By God's grace David got through it. And what I want to talk about tonight is how David got through it.

You see, God had made some promises to David. God had promised that David's kingdom would be forever. In stronger times, maybe David would have held onto that promise - but he doesn't seem to here. He seems kind of resolved that this is how it is going to end.

David did not get through this because of his faith and his strength - David got through it because of his friends.

And that is what I want to share with you tonight. If I were to summarize chapters 16-17 for you in one sentence, it would be this:

God used true friends who were loyal, willing to suffer, brave, and generous to help David through the darkest and lowest season of his whole life.

And I think if we are going to learn one lesson from this passage it is that sometimes we need friends to pick us up at our lowest point - and maybe God can use you to be that friend.

Are you in 2 Samuel 16? Let's start reading in verse 15.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 16:15-23 - KJV 15. And Absalom, and all the people the men of Israel, came to Jerusalem, and Ahithophel with him. 16. And it came to pass, when Hushai the Archite, David’s friend, was come unto Absalom, that Hushai said unto Absalom, God save the king, God save the king. 17. And Absalom said to Hushai, Is this thy kindness to thy friend? why wentest thou not with thy friend? 18. And Hushai said unto Absalom, Nay; but whom the LORD, and this people, and all the men of Israel, choose, his will I be, and with him will I abide. 19. And again, whom should I serve? should I not serve in the presence of his son? as I have served in thy father’s presence, so will I be in thy presence. 20. Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give counsel among you what we shall do. 21. And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father’s concubines, which he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all that are with thee be strong. 22. So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 23. And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counselled in those days, was as if a man had enquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.

So what happens here? What happens here is David's best counselor: Ahithophel, has defected and he starts giving Absalom advice.

To counter that - David has sent another one of his friends and counselors - a man named Hushai to try to be a spy for him and a secret voice for him in Absalom's court.

And Absalom even asked him about it. Look at verse 17.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 16:17 - KJV 17. And Absalom said to Hushai, Is this thy kindness to thy friend? why wentest thou not with thy friend?

Absalom thinks that Hushai is defecting. He thinks that he is helping him and even Absalom was wise enough to point out - that that isn't how you treat your friends.

So I think that one of the main things that God intends to teach us in this passage is how He sometimes uses real friends to carry us through the hard times.

So I guess my message tonight is "the four ways that true friends help."

Let's have a word of prayer and we will get into it tonight.

[Brief Prayer]

What happens in these chapters that show us what it means to be a true friend - the kind of friend that God can use to help believers through their darkest moments?

I think we can see four things about true friends.

The first thing we see is that

1. True friends are loyal when others abandon.

Remember, David, as far as he knows, has lost the kingdom. It sure seems like the popular tide is on Absalom's side. It seems like this is how it is going to end.

I do not think it was popular at this point to be pro-David. I think David may have been as unpopular at this point as he ever was. And we see that as many of David's men abandon him.

Chief among them is Ahithophel - David's brightest counselor.

Ahithophel's first advice is for Absalom to take David's concubines and publicly sleep with them. This was a terrible act - but it was meant to do two things:

• First, it was a very public way for Absalom to assert "What' was David's is now mine."
• Second, it was a strong signal to all of Israel that there was no going back from this. David wasn't going to forgive Absalom after he did a thing like this.

So Absalom listened and did it- and the Bible makes it a point to tell us just how skilled a counselor Ahithophel was - he was like an oracle of God. He was a counselor that never missed.

I think one of the things that truly weighed David down was losing Ahithophel and probably realizing he had lost Ahithophel long ago by his own sin.

So in David's mind he has lost the people. He has lost his kingdom. He has lost his counselors. He has even lost Mephibosheth.

But do you know what? He didn't lose everyone. Last week Daniel preached about some of the men who stuck with David. Men like

• Ittai the Gathite - who refused to leave David's side, even though he was a Philistine by birth.
• or Zadok and Abiathar - two priests who knew from first hand experience what a jealous king would do - who decided to help David.
• Men like Hushai - David's friend and counselor who decided to go back to Jerusalem and act as David's spy in Absalom's court.

Listen, if you want to be a true friend, then you have to stand up when others abandon. You have to be loyal.

Do you know the thing about loyalty? It's easy to be loyal when things are going well. No one has a hard time supporting a sports team that is winning championship after championship.

But true loyalty is tested in the valley. Loyalty is tested when it becomes hard to be someone's friend. When to be someone's friend costs us something.

If you have true friends who are loyal you have amazing blessings from God - and if you are that friend - you are an amazing blessing.

But David's friends weren't just loyal - they were loyal when it meant leaving their homes and sleeping in the wilderness.

So true friends are loyal when others abandon and...

2. True friends are willing to be with you even when being with you means sharing your suffering.

I've heard it said that you find out who your true friends are on moving day. It seems like when you have a refrigerator to move, a lot of people suddenly have other plans.

But a true friend is one who steps up and suffers with people.

[!bible] Proverbs 17:17 - KJV 17. A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

[!bible] Proverbs 18:24 - KJV 18. A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

To be a true friend, to be a brother, you have to show yourself friendly and stick with others through adversity.

Galatians 6:2 puts it like this:

[!bible] Galatians 6:2 - KJV 2. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

When David's back was against the wall, so many people went with him. When David was suffering at his lowest point, so many people stood up and suffered with him.

Maybe there are people out there who God wants you to be a friend to. Those people have burdens. The thing about burdens is, well, they are burdens. They aren't fun. They are heavy. They are dirty. They are inconvenient.

If you are unwilling to be inconvenienced for someone, you probably aren't their true friend.

True friends are loyal when it isn't popular and they are willing to be with you even when being with you means sharing your suffering.

There is another thing we see in this story - really the main thing we see in chapter 17:

3. True friends are brave on your behalf.

Hushai was brave in going to act as a spy on behalf of David. He had to know that he would be suspected and that Absalom could kill him. He was taking his life into his hands.

In chapter 17, Hushai hears Ahithophel's plan to go ahead and attack David when he was weak - and it was a good plan. So Ahithophel purposely gives bad advice and tells Absalom that he needs to hold off until his army is bigger. Then Hushai passes the word to the priests, Zadok and Abiathar - who use their sons as messengers.

Let's read chapter 17 verses 15-22:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 17:15-22 - KJV 15. Then said Hushai unto Zadok and to Abiathar the priests, Thus and thus did Ahithophel counsel Absalom and the elders of Israel; and thus and thus have I counselled. 16. Now therefore send quickly, and tell David, saying, Lodge not this night in the plains of the wilderness, but speedily pass over; lest the king be swallowed up, and all the people that are with him. 17. Now Jonathan and Ahimaaz stayed by En-rogel; for they might not be seen to come into the city: and a wench went and told them; and they went and told king David. 18. Nevertheless a lad saw them, and told Absalom: but they went both of them away quickly, and came to a man’s house in Bahurim, which had a well in his court; whither they went down. 19. And the woman took and spread a covering over the well’s mouth, and spread ground corn thereon; and the thing was not known. 20. And when Absalom’s servants came to the woman to the house, they said, Where is Ahimaaz and Jonathan? And the woman said unto them, They be gone over the brook of water. And when they had sought and could not find them, they returned to Jerusalem. 21. And it came to pass, after they were departed, that they came up out of the well, and went and told king David, and said unto David, Arise, and pass quickly over the water: for thus hath Ahithophel counselled against you. 22. Then David arose, and all the people that were with him, and they passed over Jordan: by the morning light there lacked not one of them that was not gone over Jordan.

Everyone in this story is risking their lives.

• Hushai in being a spy.
• Zadok and Abiathar in working with David and Hushai.
• Zadok and Abiathar's sons Ahimaz and Jonathan in being the wartime messengers.
• Even some random house wife who hides Ahimaz and Jonathan in her well and then lies to Absalom's men for them.

Everyone one of them stuck their necks out there for David and showed true bravery.

You know, if God is going to use you - you have to be brave.

[!bible] Proverbs 28:1 - KJV

1. The wicked flee when no man pursueth: but the righteous are bold as a lion.

2 Timothy 1:7 says:

[!bible] 2 Timothy 1:7 - KJV 7. For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

True friendship acts bravely. It boldly risks for others.

I love a novel by Sir Walter Scott, The Heart of Midlothian, where a young Christian woman risks everything, traveling alone to London, to defend her sister falsely accused of a crime. That’s bravery. True friends act boldly for you—speaking up, taking risks, standing in the gap.

Who needs you to be brave for them this week? Maybe it’s defending a friend who’s being unfairly treated or stepping into a tough situation to help.

If God is going to use you, you have to be brave. Trust His power to make you bold, like Hushai and that woman were for David.

So we have seen that:

• True friends are loyal when it isn't popular and
• True friends are willing to be with you even when being with you means sharing your suffering and
• True friends are brave on your behalf.

But there is one more thing we see in this story. Look at how chapter 17 ends. Let's read verses 27-29:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 17:27-29 - KJV 27. And it came to pass, when David was come to Mahanaim, that Shobi the son of Nahash of Rabbah of the children of Ammon, and Machir the son of Ammiel of Lo-debar, and Barzillai the Gileadite of Rogelim, 28. Brought beds, and basons, and earthen vessels, and wheat, and barley, and flour, and parched corn, and beans, and lentiles, and parched pulse, 29. And honey, and butter, and sheep, and cheese of kine, for David, and for the people that were with him, to eat: for they said, The people is hungry, and weary, and thirsty, in the wilderness.

• True friends are loyal when it isn't popular and
• True friends are willing to be with you even when being with you means sharing your suffering and
• True friends are brave on your behalf.

4. True friends are generous when you cannot repay them.

In these verses, David and his followers limp into Mahanaim, hungry, weary, and thirsty in the wilderness. They’ve got nothing—no throne, no home, no way to pay anyone back. David’s at rock bottom. But three men—Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai—see their need and step up. They bring beds, basins, wheat, barley, beans, lentils, honey, sheep, cheese—everything David’s people need to survive

These guys were basically nobodies. They likely would never have their names recorded in scripture and we would never hear of them - except for their acts of generosity towards David and his men. They supplied them with the things they needed while they were on the run from Absalom.

They opened up what they had and gave freely - even when it probably seemed likely that David would never be able to repay them and even when it likely cost them dearly.

This is another sign of a true friend. A generous heart. Jesus told us in Luke 6:38:

[!bible] Luke 6:38 - KJV 38. Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Do you know that you can give generously knowing that God will repay you.

Proverbs 19:17 puts it like this:

[!bible] Proverbs 19:17 - KJV 17. He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.

God repays generosity.

Being a true friend to someone will probably cost you something. It will cost you your time. Your treasure. Maybe your talent. But God can use it.

So:

• True friends are loyal when it isn't popular and
• True friends are willing to be with you even when being with you means sharing your suffering and
• True friends are brave on your behalf.
• True friends are generous when you cannot repay them.

Conclusion

Now, as I close this message tonight, I really want to bear my heart with you. I've been so blessed to have many of you as my true friends, and I don't think I would still be here if it wasn't for you rallying around me and helping me through some of the hard times I've gone through.

• There are people in here who have stood with me when it was unpopular and I sure didn't make it easy on them.
• There are people in here who have been brave for me. Who stood up for me.
• There are people in here who have shared in my suffering, inconveniencing themselves and helping us.
• There are people here who have been so generous to me and my family.

I want you to know that God used all of you to help this poor preacher through a hard time and that I count you as my dearest friends.

And I hope tonight that I can be this kind of friend to others. Because many of you are far better friends than I am.

Maybe through this story tonight, God inspired you to be a true friend. That's going to cost you something. But you will be a treasure to people and you can help people when they can't help themselves.

And if you have friends like this - thank God. What we see in this passage is they are one of the tools God uses to get us through - so if you have them - thank Him for his goodness to you. Because few people have friends like this.

Let's stand together for prayer.