author: Ryan Hayden Take your Bibles with me and turn to 2 Samuel 14. 2 Samuel 14. We are going to be reading the whole chapter in a second.

Remember, a few chapters ago:

• David sinned with Bathsheba.
• Nathan confronted David, leading to his repentance.
• God promised that the sword would never leave David's house.
• In the previous story, David's oldest son, Amnon, the crown prince, raped his half-sister Tamar.
• Absalom killed Amnon at a feast.
• Absalom fled to his grandfather's house in Geshur.
• Absalom stayed in Geshur for three years.
• This is the backdrop for the current story.

With that in mind, let's go ahead and read 2 Samuel 14.

[!bible] 2 Samuel 14:1-33 - KJV

1. Now Joab the son of Zeruiah perceived that the king’s heart was toward Absalom.
2. And Joab sent to Tekoah, and fetched thence a wise woman, and said unto her, I pray thee, feign thyself to be a mourner, and put on now mourning apparel, and anoint not thyself with oil, but be as a woman that had a long time mourned for the dead:
3. And come to the king, and speak on this manner unto him. So Joab put the words in her mouth.
4. And when the woman of Tekoah spake to the king, she fell on her face to the ground, and did obeisance, and said, Help, O king.
5. And the king said unto her, What aileth thee? And she answered, I am indeed a widow woman, and mine husband is dead.
6. And thy handmaid had two sons, and they two strove together in the field, and there was none to part them, but the one smote the other, and slew him.
7. And, behold, the whole family is risen against thine handmaid, and they said, Deliver him that smote his brother, that we may kill him, for the life of his brother whom he slew; and we will destroy the heir also: and so they shall quench my coal which is left, and shall not leave to my husband neither name nor remainder upon the earth.
8. And the king said unto the woman, Go to thine house, and I will give charge concerning thee.
9. And the woman of Tekoah said unto the king, My lord, O king, the iniquity be on me, and on my father’s house: and the king and his throne be guiltless.
10. And the king said, Whosoever saith ought unto thee, bring him to me, and he shall not touch thee any more.
11. Then said she, I pray thee, let the king remember the LORD thy God, that thou wouldest not suffer the revengers of blood to destroy any more, lest they destroy my son. And he said, As the LORD liveth, there shall not one hair of thy son fall to the earth.
12. Then the woman said, Let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak one word unto my lord the king. And he said, Say on.
13. And the woman said, Wherefore then hast thou thought such a thing against the people of God? for the king doth speak this thing as one which is faulty, in that the king doth not fetch home again his banished.
14. For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.
15. Now therefore that I am come to speak of this thing unto my lord the king, it is because the people have made me afraid: and thy handmaid said, I will now speak unto the king; it may be that the king will perform the request of his handmaid.
16. For the king will hear, to deliver his handmaid out of the hand of the man that would destroy me and my son together out of the inheritance of God.
17. Then thine handmaid said, The word of my lord the king shall now be comfortable: for as an angel of God, so is my lord the king to discern good and bad: therefore the LORD thy God will be with thee.
18. Then the king answered and said unto the woman, Hide not from me, I pray thee, the thing that I shall ask thee. And the woman said, Let my lord the king now speak.
19. And the king said, Is not the hand of Joab with thee in all this? And the woman answered and said, As thy soul liveth, my lord the king, none can turn to the right hand or to the left from ought that my lord the king hath spoken: for thy servant Joab, he bade me, and he put all these words in the mouth of thine handmaid:
20. To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
21. And the king said unto Joab, Behold now, I have done this thing: go therefore, bring the young man Absalom again.
22. And Joab fell to the ground on his face, and bowed himself, and thanked the king: and Joab said, Today thy servant knoweth that I have found grace in thy sight, my lord, O king, in that the king hath fulfilled the request of his servant.
23. So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
24. And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face. So Absalom returned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.
25. But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
26. And when he polled his head, (for it was at every year’s end that he polled it: because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he polled it:) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels after the king’s weight.
27. And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
28. So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face.
29. Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come.
30. Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab’s field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.
31. Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire?
32. And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, let him kill me.
33. So Joab came to the king, and told him: and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.

This is a story of Reconciliation. Reconciliation. It is the story of how David was reconciled with his estranged son Absalom.

Remember, Absalom had killed Amnon, and then fled to Geshur. For years David wished he could be back with his son. But wouldn't make a move. Until Joab realized what was going on and forced a reconciliation. That's what happens in the chapter we just read.

And it's a weird story. It's not a model reconciliation in any way. As a preacher, I'm always looking for some moral angle in these stories - and I really can't find one in this story.

No one in this story behaves admirably. But I don't know if anyone in this story is sinning either.

And so as I read for this and prayed about it, I was really scratching my head about what I wanted to preach to you, but one verse struck out to me. It's verse 14. Look at that verse again:

[!bible] 2 Samuel 14:14 - KJV 14. For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth God respect any person: yet doth he devise means, that his banished be not expelled from him.

This woman of Takoah, this wise woman, is chastising David. She's doing it as the mouthpeice of Joab. And she says this really profound thing, she says "God devises means that his banished be not expelled from him."

Another way to say that is that God makes a way for those who are alienated from Him, those who have a broken relationship with Him, to be reconciled.

Now, I don't think she knew it. I don't think this woman was any kind of role model or prophet. But I think she accidentally said something incredibly profound, and I think it is the key to understanding this chapter.

She made a comparison - how David was not being reconciled with his son, and how God is reconciled with sinners. And I want to use that comparison as the lens for this story.

You see, the Bible is very clear that God's mission through Christ is a ministry of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:18 says:

[!bible] 2 Corinthians 5:18 - KJV 18. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

God's mission is reconciliation, and our continuing mission is a mission of reconciliation.

So, with that in mind, lets think about what happened in 2 Samuel 14. In 2 Samuel 14 we had this very flawed reconciliation and it points us to God's perfect reconciliation. So my message tonight is going to be:

David’s flawed estrangement and reconciliation with Absalom point to God’s perfect reconciliation with sinners, showing the gospel’s triumph over human shortcomings.

I'm going to give you four points tonight as we tell this story. Let's pray and we'll get into it.

author: Ryan Hayden The first thing I want us to think about tonight is this:

1. David's estrangement with Absalom is based on perverted justice, God's estrangement from sinners is based on pure justice.

You see, before we can talk about David's reconciliation, we have to talk about why he was estranged in the first place.

Amnon raped his half sister - a crime that most likely required David to administer the death penalty, and at the very least required David to force a marriage - but David did nothing. He just pretended it didn't happen. Which was incredibly unjust.

And so Absalom took matters into his own hands. Absalom became justice for Tamar. There was even biblical precedent for it. There was this idea of the avenger of blood - a close family member who would take justice into their own hands for murder - this wasn't murder, but it was close. So I think Absalom felt betrayed by his father's inaction and felt justified in doing this.

Then he ran away, and again, David did nothing. David didn't go and get Absalom and bring him to justice. You could argue that Absalom deserved death for his crime - but David didn't do it.

David was just going to let it all slide, and when you are the king, you are the chief judge, and you let things slide, you are perverting justice.

So David's estrangement was based on perverted justice. Absalom may not have deserved it - at least some of the blame lay on David for not doing what he should have done.

But consider God's estrangement from man - it is completely just. It's completely just because God is completely just. God is completely fair.

The Bible makes this plain for us:

[!bible] Romans 3:23-26 - KJV 23. For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 24. Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: 25. Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; 26. To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

God is just. God is holy and he cannot abide sin. And He is just to be estranged from sinners.

The Bible makes it pretty clear that outside of Christ, we are God's enemies. Listen to just a couple of verses:

[!bible] Ephesians 2:2 - KJV 2. Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:

[!bible] Romans 8:7 - KJV 7. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

So God is just to be estranged from His enemies. That is fair. That is right. We are wicked and we have no hope of fellowship with God in our sin.

Back in chapter 14, David was estranged from Absalom, and there was a lot that wasn't right there.

But what about the reconciliation? That leads me to point 2:

2. David's' reconciliation with Absalom was forced upon him, God's reconciliation with sinners was voluntary and came from His own initiative.

David didn't make any initiative to go and get Absalom. He just wallowed in the palace. Joab, his right hand man, saw David and decided to take matters into his own hands.

He hired this woman from far away - Takoah - to dress up like a mourning widow woman and ask David for help.

They had local courts, but the king was like the Supreme Court where you could go for the ultimate appeal. And so she comes into see David looking very sad and she tells this tale.

She tells David that she is a widow with two sons and her two sons were out working in the field and got into a fight and one of them killed the other one. This is manslaughter.

Well, the family wants to avenge the lost son - but the problem is that that leaves her without an heir. It leaves her destitute. So she is asking David for her and her son to be left alone.

And at first David kind of waffles. But she presses David and he says "ok, I'm make sure your son isn't touched." And at that point, her trap is set and she turns on David and tells him that he needs to be reconciled with his son.

Absalom was popular. He was the Prince William of Israel. (With a lot more hair.). He was beloved and if David would grant mercy to a poor stranger on the word of some widow woman, he should grant mercy to his son, the prince, that all of Israel loves.

David immediately figures out this must be Joab's work, and so he asks if Joab put her up to this and she says yes, then David tells Joab to go and get Absalom.

But the whole thing is reluctant. David didn't want to do it. He had to be shamed and manipulated into doing it. His reconciliation was half-hearted and he had to be dragged into it.

But think about God's reconciliation with us? God wasn't passive in that - God was the initiator. God was prime mover.

Sending Jesus to die for our sins wasn't something God had to be tricked into - it was God's idea.

Think about 2 Corinthians 5:18 again:

[!bible] 2 Corinthians 5:18 - KJV 18. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Notice that first phrase "all things are of God." God is the one who did the reconciliation. God is the subject in this sentence - not us. He is the worker.

Think about John 3:16. It doesn't say "For man so loved God that he..." it says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotton son...."

So David was sort of forced to reconcile with Absalom, but God went out of his way to reconcile with us.

So let's review:

1. David's estrangement with Absalom is based on perverted justice, God's estrangement from sinners is based on pure justice.
2. David's' reconciliation with Absalom was forced upon him, God's reconciliation with sinners was voluntary and came from His own initiative.

Let me give you a third point:

3. David's reconciliation with Absalom was based on ignoring justice, God's reconciliation with sinners is based on fulfilled justice.

Listen, what David was going to do for this woman, it wasn't right. The man who committed fratricide, the man who killed his own brother - he deserved to be punished for that. Whether it hurt this poor old woman or not.

And when David brought Absalom back, he was ignoring justice. Something should have been done to Absalom for killing his brother, just as something should have been done to Amnon for raping his sister. David's mercy is almost like just a decision to pretend a crime didn't happen when everyone knows that it did.

But I want to you something - God's mercy to us, God's reconciliation to us - it isn't based on just winking and pretending that we are not sinners. That we are not guilty.

God didn't reconcile with us by pretending we are guiltless. No God is just. And our sin was completely punished. It was totally punished in Christ.

Don't think Christian, that your mercy and forgiveness and relationship with God is because God decided to pretend you weren't a sinner. Because God decided to overlook a crime. Because God decided not to prosecute.

Nothing could be further from the truth. If you are reconciled to God today your sin has been fully punished. God has exacted the fullest justice for your sin.

God doesn't sidestep justice. God fulfills it. This is at the heart of the gospel. Listen to this:

[!bible] Romans 3:25-26 - KJV 25. Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; 26. To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.

Propitiation - that means an offering that satisfies wrath. Because of the offering of Christ - God can be both just and justifier of us. God can forgive our sins, not because they didn't happen, not because he chose to look the other way, but because they have been fully paid for by Christ.

And listen, this wasn't a slap on the wrist. Consider what Isaiah 53 says:

[!bible] Isaiah 53:5-6 - KJV 5. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. 6. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.

So do you see how different God's reconciliation through the gospel is from David's reconciliation with Absalom?

1. David's estrangement with Absalom is based on perverted justice, God's estrangement from sinners is based on pure justice.
2. David's' reconciliation with Absalom was forced upon him, God's reconciliation with sinners was voluntary and came from His own initiative.
3. David's reconciliation with Absalom was based on ignoring justice, God's reconciliation with sinners is based on fulfilled justice.

Let me give you one more point tonight:

4. David's reconciliation with Absalom was partial, God's reconciliation with sinners is complete.

You see, when David had Joab go and get Absalom - it was only a partial reconciliation. David made it clear he didn't want to see Absalom at all.

For two years Absalom lived in his own house and never got to see David. He tried and tried to see him - but was barred. He tried to get Joab to arrange it, and Joab blew him off.

Finally, to get Joab's attention - he sets Joab's field on fire. That is the ultimate kid acting out to get his dad's attention move. Joab finally makes it happen for David and Absalom to meet.

And David kisses him - but I don't think there relationship was restored. You'll see a good reason why next week when we get into chapter 15.

So David had to be forced to reconcile, his reconciliation was based on fake justice, it was incomplete reconciliation.

Can I tell you - God's reconciliation to us isn't like that at all. It is full-on, total, complete restoration. There is nothing half-hearted about what God did for us through Christ.

[!bible] Romans 5:10-11 - KJV 10. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.

We have been given real reconciliation, real atonement. You can think of atonement as At One Ment. We have been made one with God again.

Listen to this from Ephesians:

[!bible] Ephesians 2:13-16 - KJV 13. But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ. 14. For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; 15. Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace; 16. And that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby:

Christ has made us nigh. He has restored our relationship. We aren't enemies anymore. We aren't even kept out by the partition of the law anymore. We are at peace with God through Christ.

I could go on and on here -

• He's made us his sons,
• He's given us an eternal reconciliation,
• He's restored full fellowship

Conclusion

So listen, if you are looking at 2 Samuel 14 and you are thinking - this is sad, this is not how I hoped our hero would act. You aren't alone.

But do you know what - David isn't the hero. And this whole thing, this whole forced, half-hearted incomplete reconciliation - it only leaves us wanting something more, wanting something real.

This story is like a really bad drawing of a mountain vista. It's pitiful - but it's just enough to give us a longing for the real thing.

And praise God, we have the real thing in Jesus Christ!

The wise woman said, “God devises means, that his banished be not expelled from him” (2 Samuel 14:14).

David’s means was flawed, but God’s means is perfect—the cross of Christ. God’s reconciliation isn’t based on perverted justice; it’s pure, because

• He’s holy (Romans 3:23-26). It’s not forced; God initiated it, sending His Son because He loved us (John 3:16).
• It doesn’t ignore justice; Jesus paid for every sin, fulfilling God’s righteous demands (Isaiah 53:5-6).
• And it’s not partial; through Christ, we’re not just brought back—we’re made God’s children, welcomed into His presence with the veil torn away (Ephesians 2:13-16).

Listen to this promise one more time: “For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement” (Romans 5:10-11). That’s atonement—at-one-ment. We’re not enemies anymore. We’re not stuck in the guest house like Absalom. We’re home, fully restored, sons and daughters of the King.

So tonight, I’ve got four challenges for you.

• First, if you’re far from God, feeling banished by your sin, hear this: God has devised a way to bring you home. Jesus paid it all. Don’t wait—trust Him tonight, and let His blood reconcile you to God. Come talk to me or one of our leaders after the service; we’d love to pray with you.
• Second, if you’re a believer, look at your relationships. Are you settling for partial reconciliations, ignoring wrongs or keeping people at arm’s length like David did? God’s shown us a better way—pursue reconciliation with truth, grace, and love, just as He did for you.
• Third, God wants to be reconciled with more people. He isn't just reconciling the world to himself, He is involving us in that work. Are you willing to be an agent of God's reconciliation by sharing the gospel?
• Finally, all of us—let’s lift our hearts in worship. If you’re reconciled to God, you’ve got reason to joy in Him. Thank Him for His perfect, complete, eternal reconciliation.