Take your Bibles with me and turn to Proverbs chapter 1 and then hold your place there and go to Ephesians 6. As you are turning to those two places, I'm going to ask all of the dad's to stand. Audrey and Molly, if you'll come up here and help me.

This year, instead of giving you a little trinket that will, at best, end up in a drawer somewhere. I wanted the church to give you something truly useful and so I have a book here for you. This isn't just any book, this might be one of the best books on what it means to be a godly man. It's a book I want every father in our church to own a copy of. It's called "Disciplines of a Godly Man" by a pastor named Kent Hughes. Kent Hughes has the distinction of being my favorite commentary writer - but most people know him for this book.

I believe with all my heart that if we can change our habits. If we can change our "disciplines" then we can change our life and the life of our children. This book is going to challenge us as men to develop habits of godliness.

I want you to take it and I want you to read one chapter of it this week. And I'm going to send out a video each week talking about this weeks chapter. Does everyone have a copy? You may be seated.

I get to preach a Father's day message today. And I'm honored to do it with my stepdad here. I'm grateful to have had an awesome example of a dad in that man right there. And I'm the better man for it.

I'm going to spend most of my time this morning in Proverbs. But I want to actually get started in the New Testament, in a verse we probably know well. Ephesians 6:4

[!bible] Ephesians 6:4 - KJV 4. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Most of us have heard this verse a thousand times. We've read this verse over and over. Particularly the "provoke not your children to wrath part." But have you ever studied out what that second part means? What does it mean to bring up our children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?"

I want to focus in on that word "nurture." When we think of "nurture" we almost always think of it in terms of mothering. Like a mother nurturing her children with milk and food. But that isn't what that word means here.

The word in the greek is the word paideia and this is the only time in the Bible that it is translated as "nurture." It's also translated as "instruction", and "chastening."

!CleanShot 2025-06-15 at 06.12.37@2x.png (This is a screenshot showing from Blueletterbible.org that this word is paideia and that it is also translated as instruction and chastening.)

The thoughtful among you might be thinking "nurture"? "instruction?" "chastening?" Those are three completely different concepts. That's a lot for one word to carry. Well, this isn't just any word, it was a special word in the greek language. Listen to Thayer's Dictionary definition of Paideia:

the whole training and education of children (which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and punishment) It also includes the training and care of the body.

Here is what another source had to say about this word:

Paideia (παιδεία) is a rich Greek concept that goes far beyond our modern understanding of "education." It encompasses the entire process of character formation, cultural transmission, and moral development.

Paideia refers to the comprehensive training and education of a person - not just intellectual learning, but the cultivation of virtue, citizenship, and human excellence (arete). It's the process by which a community shapes its young people into mature, contributing members.

So when the Bible says that fathers are to bring up their children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" - what it is saying is that we have a duty to oversee the whole education of our kids - not just their intellectual education, but their spiritual education, their character education, their physical education. Their manners. Everything.

And what better day to talk about that than today - Father's day. So I want you to go with me to Proverbs and I want to give you three points this morning about Fathers and our duty to educate.

Let's have a word of prayer and then we'll get into those three points.

The first point I want to share with you is:

1. Father's must teach their children

Are you in Proverbs? Look with me at chapter 1 verse 8:

[!bible] Proverbs 1:8 - KJV 8. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

Do you know what the book of Proverbs is? It is Solomon recording for us his paideia. It is Solomon, taking on the instruction of his son. Passing on to his son everything he knows.

23 times in this book we see the phrase "my son." Look at verse 10:

[!bible] Proverbs 1:10 - KJV 10. My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

Look at chapter 2 verse 1:

[!bible] Proverbs 2:1 - KJV

1. My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;

Chapter 3 verse 1:

[!bible] Proverbs 3:1 - KJV

1. My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

Chapter 5:1

[!bible] Proverbs 5:1 - KJV

1. My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:

Chapter 6:1

[!bible] Proverbs 6:1 - KJV

1. My son, if thou be surety for thy friend, if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger,

It is very obvious, even to a casual reader of this book - what Solomon is doing here. He is teaching his son very important lessons about life. And dads, this is our duty. This is what God calls all of us to do. We are commanded to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are commanded to give them a godly paideia.

And so I want to challenge you men on Father's day - take up the challenge of being your kids most important teacher. Realize that that is a job God has given you and be intentional about it. Father's must teach their children.

So, I think a logical question is: if Father's must teach their children, what should we teach them?

And that brings me to my second point today:

2. Father's must teach their children specific things.

As you read the book of Proverbs, and you see Solomon instructing his son "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" - you see that He is teaching his son some specific things.

Solomon wasn't just giving generic advice - he was addressing the specific temptations and challenges his son would face as a young man. And fathers, the challenges our sons face today require the same kind of targeted, intentional instruction.

Let's just take a minute and go through Proverbs and think about some of the specific things Solomon taught his son about - and maybe we can start to make ourselves a curriculum of the things we should be teaching our sons:

Solomon taught his children to fear God.

Look at Proverbs 1:7. This is kind of the thesis of the whole book of Proverbs:

[!bible] Proverbs 1:7 - KJV 7. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

The most important thing that you can teach your children - the thing that will guide every other thing - is to be a god-fearing man or woman. You have to teach your children to keep their relationship with the Lord right. To walk with Him.

If you get everything else right - and you don't bring your children to Christ - then what does it matter? But if your kids walk with God - they have a heavenly Father who will guide them through this life in a way that you and I can never live up to.

So we have to teach our children to fear God. We have to give this everything we have. They may reject Him - but they should do it despite us, not because of us.

• So Dads, are you teaching your kids to fear God?
• Do your kids know your testimony of salvation?
• Do your kids know how important it is to trust Christ?

A second specific thing Solomon taught his kids is...

Solomon taught his children to seek wisdom.

Look at chapter 4 verses 5-7:

[!bible] Proverbs 4:5-7 - KJV 5. Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. 6. Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. 7. Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

Wisdom has been called "applied knowledge" or "skill for life." Your kids need to know how important it is to be wise and to grow in wisdom their whole life.

Learning isn't something you just do for 12 years and then stop. Learning is something we we continually grow in. We need to be talking to our kids about this.

So Dads -

• Do you talk about "wisdom"?
• Do you say things like "That wasn't wise, was it?" or "I'm proud of you for making wise decisions?"

If you can teach your kids to be wise and to grow in wisdom - it will affect every other area of their life. As Proverbs 3:13 puts it...

[!bible] Proverbs 3:13 - KJV 13. Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

So teach your kids to fear God and teach them to grow in wisdom. Another crucial things we can learn from Proverbs is...

Solomon taught his children to pick good friends.

As you read Proverbs, you see this was a concern right from the beginning. In chapter 1, verse 10 Solomon says:

[!bible] Proverbs 1:10 - KJV 10. My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.

And then goes on to talk about bad friends for several verses. Then Solomon comes back to this theme several times in the book.

Proverbs 13:20 says:

[!bible] Proverbs 13:20 - KJV 20. He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

Perhaps nothing is going to shape the way your kids live more than who they choose to be their friends. So you need to teach them the importance of having good and godly friends.

Both my wife and I have been blessed with this: we both made friends with godly people when we were young, and they are still our friends today. My two best friends in high school are both pastors today in Massachusetts, and we still talk to each other, many of my other friends are faithful church members. Amanda's best friends are now missionaries or pastor's wives or faithful church members. Maybe as much as anything else in my life - my friendships have shaped me and I'm grateful to God for that.

But you know, when Solomon wrote this, it was in a very different world. He wrote this before mass media, before television, before the internet and smart phones. Today, our kids don't just get to have the friends in their school or church or neighborhood - but can import digital friends from around the world.

These things shape us. And just like real friends - they can destroy us. So we need to teach our kids to pick good real friends and good digital friends.

So how are you doing so far? Dad - you are their teacher. And you have to teach them these things:

• Fear God
• Love wisdom
• Choose good friends.

Look at another things:

Solomon taught his children to avoid life's traps

Turn with me to Proverbs 5. I want you to see this. Let's go ahead and read verses 1-13

[!bible] Proverbs 5:1-13 - KJV

1. My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2. That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3. For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
4. But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
5. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
6. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
7. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
8. Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
9. Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
10. Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
11. And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
12. And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
13. And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!

Solomon was very concerned to teach his son about the dangers of the adulterous woman. About this woman who would come and tempt him with a life that seemed perfect, but that isn't really real.

Solomon understood that there are traps in life and he wanted his kid to know how to spot them and to avoid them. Some of the traps Solomon talks about in this book are:

• The trap of women.
• The trap of drunkenness.
• The trap of get rich quick schemes.

And do you know what all of those traps have in common - they all present themselves as a shortcut. They are all a supposedly easy alternative to things that are hard in life.

Now, I am going to go off script here for a second and talk about something that Solomon didn't write about - but I believe he would have if he was living today. It's certainly related to these traps:

God has given men an innate desire to build a family and to build a kingdom. That goes all the way back to Genesis 2. God gave Adam a wife and job and told him to have dominion over the earth. We have these desires hard wired in us.

And I believe that Satan has figured out two traps. Two alternatives to those hard wired desires that are plaguing our young men today and ruining their lives. Those traps are digital distractions - particularly video games and pornography.

After all - why build a kingdom? Why do the hard work, when you can just do it in minecraft? Why do the lifelong work of conquering yourself and conquering the chaos of your life, when you can just conquer a new world in Fortnite or World of Warcraft?

And relationships: why do the hard work of loving your wife, of keeping a strong relationship - when you can get all the pleasures in the world piped into your phone?

These digital alternatives are traps - very much like the woman Solomon warned about in chapters 5 and 7 of Proverbs. Dads - we have to help our kids with this battle or it will destroy their lives.

There are so many other things Solomon taught his kids that we can consider:

• He taught them to work hard

[!bible] Proverbs 10:4 - KJV 4. He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.

• He taught them to control their tongues

[!bible] Proverbs 18:21 - KJV 5. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

• He taught them to be faithful to their spouse - to be a good husband or a good wife.

[!bible] Proverbs 18:22 - KJV 6. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

We could talk about these these things for hours and I would, but I'm out of time. Dad, you have to be your kids teacher, and you have to teach them specific things about life.

And that brings me to my last point today...

3. Father's must teach their children with their example, not just their words.

Look at one more verse in Proverbs with me. Look at chapter 20 verse 7:

[!bible] Proverbs 20:7 - KJV 7. The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

I have to give you some bad news dads. The truth is,

• you can take up the mantle of teaching your children, of bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
• You can be intentional about teaching them about God and wisdom and what traps to avoid.
• You can do all of this really well, and completely undo it with the way that you live.

Because far more important that you say is what you do.

• If you tell your kids to fear God, and you don't walk with God yourself. Which lesson do you think they will learn?
• If you tell your kids to seek wisdom, and you live foolishly. Which lesson do you think they will learn?
• If you tell your kids to choose good friends and influences, and yet you fill your mind with trash and you choose bad friends, you are undoing everything you said.

And Dads, this means on this matter of digital alternatives, we have to step up. Our kids don't just need a lecture about screen time - they need to see us putting the phone away and loving our wife. They need to see us walking in purity. They need to see us working hard and embracing life's challenges, rather than escaping them with doom scrolling on our phone.

Every generation has it's challenges. Every generation has its failures. I think our generations failure is going to be that we let real life fly by while we had our head glued to seven inches of glass.

Someday, if Christ doesn't come back first, they will bury you. You will get old and you will die and it will go by like this. What are you teaching your children? What are are you saying with your words and what are you saying with your actions?

• Maybe you are hear today and you realize that you need to step up and be the Dad God wants you to be. You need to take responsability for the Paideia or your children.
• Maybe you are hear today and you need to start walking with God. You need to trust Christ.
• Maybe you need to get victory over some bad habits so you can be a proper example to your kids.

Whatever it is - you can start today. Your children don't need a perfect father - they need a repentant father. They need a father who is growing, who admits his mistakes, and who fights for what matters.

The same God who gave Solomon wisdom to teach his son wants to give you wisdom to teach yours. The same grace that can save your children can transform you first.

So Dad, take up that book I gave you. Read it. Grow in your disciplines. But more than that - take up the calling God has given you. Be your children's most important teacher, not just with your words, but with your life.

Let's pray.